Pillar Women Ep. 16 - The Lie of Autonomy with Betsy Gómez & Nate Akin
OVERVIEW
We live in a culture that tells us that freedom means independence and deciding for ourselves who we are and what is good. Sadly, if we are honest, it is not only culture that shouts those lies; we can also hear our hearts whispering, “I belong to myself. I can decide what is best for me.”
But the Word of God tells us a different story. From the beginning, we were created to live under God’s good authority, depend on Him, and live in relationship with one another. The lie of autonomy distorted that good design. Instead of trusting the Creator to define what is true and good, we want to decide what is “right” for ourselves.
In this episode, Betsy talks with Nate Akin about the lie of autonomy and the freedom of belonging to Christ.
So, jump into the conversation, put on your earbuds, and trace this struggle from Genesis to the gospel, into the life of the local church, and into how women think about calling, leadership, influence, and ministry.
This episode is preparing the way for Unite 2026 and the women’s breakout, Thriving In and Under Authority. We hope to see you there!
HIGHLIGHTS
“The lie is that we are our own and that we get to determine for ourselves what is good and what is best and what is true.”
“We were created to worship Him. This lie of self-autonomy is a sense of us trying to worship ourselves.”
“My problem is not that my kids are interrupting me. My problem is that I want to be autonomous.”
“We’ve been bought at a price. We are not our own. Our real freedom comes from submitting to the authority of God.”
“I belong to God. I live for His glory, and His Word is my ultimate authority.”
“We were not created for isolation.”
“We need one another for our own maturity and for our own well-being.”
“God has an order to the family. God has an order to the church.”
“Women’s ministry cannot function as a separate church inside the church.”
“If it’s doing what Titus 2 is telling us to do, it’s working.”
“The answer is not just to try harder to be dependent and to be submissive. I think the answer would be: look to Christ.”
“We have in Christ what we need both as an example for how we do this, but also we have atonement when we fail.”
DIG DEEPER
In what area of your life are you most tempted to believe the lie, “I belong to myself”? In motherhood, marriage, singleness, your free time, or your life in the local church? How does remembering that you belong to Christ change the way you live there?
Think about a recent moment when your plans were interrupted, or you did not get what you wanted. What did your response reveal about your sinful desire for autonomy?
Where might you be resisting correction, accountability, service, or dependence on other believers?
How does the gospel free us from the lie that belonging to ourselves is freedom, and teach us to see belonging to Christ as our true freedom and joy?
What changes when you remember, “I belong to God. I live for His glory, and His Word is my ultimate authority”?
What are practical ways you can grow in embracing the church body as a family, both by serving others and by allowing others to serve you?
What means of grace has God given you to help you look to Christ, who humbled Himself to the point of death on the cross to free you from the slavery of living for yourself?
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